Friday, May 6, 2011

on my mind - grateful for - to be part of the knowing

                                photo by lovely Lisa Haymes

With Mother's Day approaching, I have to keep reminding myself  "Oh yes I am a Mum too".  I had become so disconnected to this ever being a personal day for myself, it still feels really strange.  Having mainly worked with women and children, I always try to be empathetic but always professjonal and clinical.    Always taking into consideration parental concern and the psycho-social perspective. 

In Medicine you see the cycle of life.  The joyous growth of pregnant bellies and little children.  The bleary eyed working parents who have been up all night with their hot little one with a sore ear  or that cough that just will not go away.  Lots of teenage angst.  The anguish and loss of a loved one.  The impact of wear and tear as we now live longer.

People would often ask me, "Do you have children?".  As time went by I would find this harder and harder to answer.  I ended up saying "No, not ever lucky enough".  I would not quite know if this was the right thing to say.  Some would say that I was the lucky one.  Some would look  sad, or not know how to respond.  Others would add a personal story of their own, similar or someone else close to them.

I remember working in a post natal ward, being the Paediatric Doctor, doing all the pre discharge baby checks.  On a Saturday morning I may have had 20 mothers and babies to see.  I remember seeing one dear little baby boy, his mother really needed some time to have that precious shower.  So she left me with him whilst she ducked in. I remember holding him dearly and gazing into his eyes.  I was breathing in that sweetness that I thought I would never have.  I needed to bring myself back to the job at hand.  Yes, make sure is all well and nothing odd to find.  He was perfect.

Now I can say I know what it feels like.  I realise that knowing look of other parents.  I know what it is like to be sick everyday of your pregnancy.  I know what it is like having a vaginal birth, actually a posterior one.  I know the pain of breast feeding.   I know what it is like when your baby doesn't sleep.  I know of that clinging toddler to your leg all day.  I know about the uncertainty and wondering if you are doing the right thing.  And maybe now know, ah yes boys are different aren't they.  (Being one of 3 girls myself).

I look forward now to Mother's Day and am just learning to give myself a little pat on the back.

A big hugs to all Mothers out there.

Linking today  with Maxabella for more loving gratefuls  and also would like to join Rhonda Jean too.


A Farmer's Wife said...

Question - Do you think being a parent makes you a better GP?

I am so glad you got to experience the wonder of parenthood - it is the best thing I have ever done...

deux chiens et un garcon said...

Thank you for this question. I would hope so. I always have aimed to be non judgemental and look at the problem from the other's persepective. But just having this personal experience I think does subtlely change you.

I am only working part time at the moment. In just under 3 months time I am going to be working full time for 3 months out west. Feeling a bit nervous about this.

One thing I have changed is if I see a new mother with an unsettled baby in the waiting room, or an irritable hot one, I try and squeeze her in earlier. Better to get them sorted and home quickly.

Otherwise I have always tried to be the best I can, kiddos or not.

m.e (Cathie) said...

i loved reading this post, thank you for sharing something so beautiful with us.
I don't believe in a single day for mothers, i think we should always be appreciative of our mothers, grandmothers or ourselves.

it's such a wonderful job to have & I wouldn't give it up for anything.

have a love flled mamas day Jill ♥

Jodie Ansted said...

What a lovely post.

I'm one of three girls too - and now I have 3 boys!

Hope you have a really wonderful mother's day.

Anne said...


Thanks for stopping by my blog. Your post sounds very similar to my experience (except the medical experience) in that I was late having my babies, fearing/not worrying that I may never have them. I also have 2 'four legged babies' which is all I thought I would have.

Boys are different, aren't they? I'm also one of three girls and my son throws me a curve ball every day out of the blue. It's such a learning experience. My daughter, on the other hand, is like looking in a mirror. Exactly the same as I was growing up. Heaven help her! LOL

Have a very happy Mother's day!


Rebekah said...

What a lovely post thanks for sharing.
Being a mother really is the hardest, yet best job in the world. I'm so glad you got to experience it.

Have a lovely day on Sunday with your little man!

thatblogyoudo said...

My post was about being a mum too, Have a lovely mothers day. :-)

Jane said...

What a lovely post. And yes boys are very different. You wait till he's 3 or 4!!! You will be fit! Have a wonderful mother's day. xo

Sam-O said...

A beautiful post.

It's the first one I've read in the gratefuls from Maxabella this morning and it has set me up for the day. Thanks.

Felicity said...

This was such a poignant and informative post for me - I loved the way you shared the perspective of a someone caring for families in your professional role & the insight you've gained in your very special role as Mother.

Blessings to you sweet Jill and your little treasure.

xx Felicity

Posie Patchwork said...

This is beautiful. You would have put so many parents at ease by saying "i haven't been lucky enough yet" when asking if you were a mother. It can be a difficult situation/ question/ experience.
Your angle is amazing, i love this post.
Just to add, please know some of us cruised through vaginal deliveries & breastfeeding, to have babies who slept like angels - yes really, times 4. I was THAT LUCKY!! No complications, no red nipples & i fed each for 18-24 months. Even twins, 'uneventful' pregnancies, that of course didn't include vomiting all day every day for 9 months every time. But after that, parenthood has been a dream & i have a high schooler. Love Posie

Vicki said...

Hi Jill,
You do 'mothering' so, so well, perhaps that's why you were called to the medical field? In hindsight you need not have worried about becoming a mum, it happened in it's own perfect time.
I know you'll have a lovely day on Sunday with the two men in your life.
Mother's Day love,

Lauren said...

oh wow what a lovely story, I hope you enjoy your mothers day! x

Judith said...

Beautifully written Jill...'sigh!'
You have made me pause and reflect on my role as a mother and what a constant practice it is in my life.
I had my first baby at 22,my 2 girls are now young adults.But be them babies or grown,and no matter what our age,the essence of being a mother never changes..the fullness of heart and the love that we feel.

I give you a gentle pat on the back and wish you a wonderful Mothers Day(and every other day)with the little cherub that surprised and delighted your world. x

Renee said...

Wow - how lucky you are to have such a rewarding career and now a rewarding lifelong job of being a Mother! Happy Mothers Day xx

Melissa said...

What a lovely post. I'm so glad that you're getting to experience it too.

As the mother of two boys, can I just say, they're absolutely lovely. And they love their Mamas. <3 <3

Shelley said...

What a lovely post. I was just thinking today that I haven't quite grasped the concept of Mother's Day yet - and this will be my second one as Miss A is 18 months old. I'm so used to the focus being on my own Mum (and all the other Mums from seven years spent working in childcare) that it seems a little strange to think that it's about me now too. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you have a lovely Mother's Day tomorrow. Shelley. x

stink-bomb said...

how lucky you were blessed and can now say that you know what it all feels like....

if only all of us were that lucky!


Becky said...

Enjoy your Mother's Day and every moment you can as they stay little for such a short period of time even though you think they'll keep you awake forever at times. Lots of joy and tears will be found throughout your years with your child.

Kate said...

Such a beautiful post, I've welled up. And oh how I wish all GP's were as understanding of the flustered/tired/worried mother.

I hope you have a very special Mothers Day.

Jodi Gibson said...

Beautiful. Have a lovely day tomorrow x

Anonymous said...

I keep stumbling upon your blog and thoroughly enjoying your posts - as I have this one.

Think its high time I followed you.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day

Lou x

Anonymous said...

What an extraordinarily beautiful photo. Just gorgeous.

Jane said...

I absolutely treasure this post, Jill. It's one I'm bookmarking. So thoughtful and insightful. Beautifully written, you clever girl. J x