Thursday, March 31, 2011

bed books

Bubba had a few hours with Babcia this morning so some time for Mama to whisk around the cottage trying to get more organised.    I have been wallowing around in a bit of mess in our bedroom.  Picking all the books that lie around for inspiration.  Piled them up.  Yes, now easier to spy across from the pillow for little reads before entering noddy land.

What books are near your bed at the moment?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

mass breast-feeding sit in and self love

Mass breastfeeding protest at Lifeline Asquith - Local News - News - Hornsby & Upper North Shore Advocate

Above is the link to an article regarding an email I received about a breast feeding sit in protest encouraging people to attend earlier in the week.  The sit in was 3 hours away so it was not possible to attend.  Really glad it all worked out well and positive in the end.

Thinking today it all really does just begin with self love doesn't it.  From there compassion, sincerity, patience and getting joy out of daily life follows.

Monday, March 28, 2011


             What is it about bath water that makes it so tasty?

Sunday, March 27, 2011

the spirit of things

In one of those cleaning up moments on a Tuesday mornning with the radio on in the background, listening to radio national ABC, I was captivated by the voice and teachings of Behram Ghista on the programme spirit of things.

I have had this nagging feeling of not being connected and whole.    Paying attention to the pracitice of yoga and meditation has been important to me.  However I have felt so depleted at times and find if difficult to be motivated and or find the energy for such.

If you have time to listen you may be inspired like myself to embrace more in your life.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

mr puss and jake - grateful for

I know this blog has dog's reining supreme but the master of the household used to be mr puss.  He was my first baby.  My first pet since leaving home.  After years of being petless with doing 2 degrees and living in college and then shared student accomodation in Melbourne, I started working as a junior dr in a hospital in Sydney.  This little boy was a forlorn kitten found in a litter abandoned at the back of the carpark.  I responded to a hand written ad on the staff notice board and took him home to my flat in Waverton.  What a mr personality he was.  That perculiar trait of the feline to be aloof and contained and then ever so smoochy and loving.  He was so uncompromising.  This is who I am and I dont give a stuff.  He was the best ratter.  He would line them up in neat rows.  I have lost count in the number of house moves I have done, I think perhaps 35.  He has gone walkabout and being missing for a few months when he must of got jack of what was  going down.  Only to reappear, either living life in the drains evidently, all skin and bone, or otherwise living the high life with a Polish Jewish pensioner.   When we finally left the Northern Territory my  dear Mother opened her house and accepted him and his comrade and fully embraced his wayward ways.  Here he became the retired old gent.  A wise feline soul and would often not make an appearence until later in the day , venturing out from underneath the doona and demand a feed and then cuddle up top of the sofa until oh yes bedtime again.  He passed away a year ago, a ripe 16 years.

And then there was Jake.  Sweet beautiful ginger boy.  Obviously was feeling clucky and got pussy cat number 2 , spotting him all alone in pet shop window.  One of my many impulsive purchases.  By now was living in house in Artarmon, junior resident, coping with night shift and ever increasing anxiety of what had I got myself into.  Was thinking of leaving medicine altogether.  Jake was the gentle half of the dynamic duo.  Even tempered.  Constantly seeking your love and approval.  Much loved by labrador and slightly teased by cavoodle.  He made a great comrade with mr puss.  For 2 male cats to get on so well, was all due to Jake.  You know that type of pussycat that follows you out to the clothes line.  He lies across your morning newspaper, and sits on arond your neck whilst watching the tele.  He did go missing twice.  Both times adopted by another family who wanted to claim him as their own.  My Mother loved him so much.  She cared for both pussycats for the last 5 years.  He passed away last week, 15 years of age.

A special note to my Mother for embracing these two rogues and and making their final days full of love and warmth.  My Mother, Mrs Dolittle.

Keen to read other's thoughts today.  Join Maxabella and her hosting sister for bundle full of gratefullness.

Friday, March 25, 2011

hand planed and kneaded

Very proud of Dada's hand made bread board.  Made from rough pieces of timber all hand planed and beautifully finished.  Now his onto his next project hand made mallet.  Hmmm, not sure if that will come to be handy for awhile but apparently it is quite a challenge.  No glue, everything has to be hand turned and fit exactly.

Ventured into making home made damper yesterday.  Devoured by moi straight from the oven.  Also spent the time with baby asleep making home made vegie, white bean and rice soup.  Little tanties now at the dinner table turning his nose up to Mama's cooking.  Gave up and decided to give it to Chester and Dan as an extra treat.  Then it all went quiet out the back whilst stacking the dishwasher.  Walked out, and there was the little chap eating that very soup from the dog's bowl.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

le vent

Don't you love these crisp Autumn (almost couldnt remember how to spell this word) days.  Perfect temperature and a great day for loads of washing to be done with this gentle but dry wind.

We are due a house inspection soon so some extra cleaning and organisation are needed. A real bummer side of renting having some young twenty something in a too short of a skirt come in and inspect your private life and the way you live for their approval.

Sometimes getting caught up in "where is HOME".  Not quite sure where this is at the moment.

Little daily rituals help little ones though.  I know that we are home to him.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

a whole week of ramblings


We have been disconnected for more than a week due to total collapse of our trusty computer.  Fortunately we were able to resuscitate after needing to completely wipe the hardrive and restore and restart again.  So far today it seems to have survived.

So many thoughts have been floating around in my head.

One year ago our little man was a 3 months old and looking back I was so overwhelmed.  Basically he just didn't want to sleep.  I remember getting about an hour each night.  Now at 15 months of age we are consistently sleeping through most nights about 11 hours and having 2-3 hour sleep in the middle of the day.  I really thought we would never get there.  If you are feeling this way, dont give up hope.

I felt socially isolated and often  distressed at why what seemed to work for others didnt for us.  We coped in those early days with co-sleeping, breastfeeding on demand and just trying to get by.  With leaps in milestones co sleeping  was no longer a good thing for either of us.  He just kicked and was so restless.   Then he would wake up so cranky and often his mood would just get worse over the day.

To be honest it was hard to find the middle ground.  There were those professed "attached" parents  that proudly stated how it was always baby first and all night breast feeding and baby cuddling in was the only way.  I would read and read and end up feeling so guilty about my ambivalent feelings.  Then the very confident propents of cot only, crying it out and rigid routines.

Perhaps this is the pickle that a lot of "older " mothers find themselves in?  It has taken me awhile to think, you know what this works for me/us and I am  confident in my choices.

I cannot say anything in particular worked apart from having consistency in the bed-time routine and gently gently persuading  them in the direction that you really want things to be.  There is no way this could be done with no tears.  My little man has a strong and determined personality.  Now after all this time he goes into his much loved cot in his own little room that makes him smile.  He goes into his cot drowsy but not asleep and he now cuddles down.  But it has been hard work.

But we got there.    I am sure with further leaps of growth and phases this will change again.  But I tell you what,  I am starting to feel a little bit normal again and my confidence and my relationship with my son  is happy and strong.  He is such a gem.

On  another note, very sad about events in Japan, Libya and Yemin.  We are so lucky.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

grateful for - affection from - les enfants des autres

This is a photo of myself and my nephew Bodhi a few years ago.  He is now a preschooler.  Isnt he a cutie?  We live at opposite ends of the state,  so catching up has been a bit hard of late.  Miss you guys.

Through this whirlwind of uncertainty in our lives, stories of devastation in near and faraway places, I have been touched by little moments of affection by littlies that I don't even really know.

In our kindamusic class, other toddlers waddling up and sitting on my lap and giving me a hug.

A four year old girl sheepishly cuddling into my thigh and being a bit teary telling me that the boys won't play with her at our Monday playgroup.  This is a large swarm of kids and I didn't know who her Mummy was.  I sat down and had a little chat with her about her own life.  She hovered a short time and then ran off skipping.

My own little man has been waking quite frequently during the night again since recovering from whooping cough.  At the library story time he became very restless and really wanted a breast feed.  I thought ok but felt a bit self conscious amongst the large room of Mums, Dads, grandparents and kiddies. I do find people look twice when you are still feeding a toddler.   I guess me doing this may have made another Mother with a newborn sit down next to me and do the same.  A very sweet looking 2 years old girl was sitting on the other side of me with her Grandmother.  She leant back and hooked her arm through my leg and rested there listening to the story.  Her Grandmother looked and prompted her to come away.  I said "it ok" and she stayed there.

Very grateful for these moments of sweet tenderness.

Pop over to Maxabella, for some more blog hopping of gratefulness.

Have a lovely weekend.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Just felt like doing a post on nothing in particular.  You now when you have all this stuff buzzing around in your head.  Sometimes it is best to keep silent and keep processing these thoughts until they transform into something sensible.  But today I had the need just to sit and ramble.  Maybe I could do a weekly post about nothing.  A bit Seinfield- like or that radio session with James Valentine on Radio National.

One thought comes to mind about babies.  Why are they such crazy kooks?  Why are they really not of this world at birth and take so long to become like someone who you can happily sit in a cafe with?.

I do a one morning session on Wednesdays and its Dada's job to put Bubba down for midday sleep.  It is best if I dont come home in the middle of this and blow everything away.  So I take the opportunity to go down to this old style cafe, with lovely sandwiches made with white bread cut into triangles and have a very milky flat white and not feel rushed and sit and take big deep breaths and sit up straight.  I ended up reading the local rag.  This area is very well serviced apparently by highly regarded schools.  There is even a boarding primary school  for boys ( apparently Patrick White and Malcom Fraser were little boys there) and private specialized pre-schools.  I even think some people move here just for the schools.  Anyway they had an educational segment with big glossy ads claiming how they can turn your child into his or her very best.  Along side this was interviews with school heads stating concern about "helicopter parenting"  and apparently the worse kind "the black hawks".

It made me reflect on my own schooling.  I just bumbled along,  trying not to get into a fight by avoiding the school oval at all costs.  There where certain girls who made my life hell.  I could probably have done without their harassment and calling me a "mole" all the time.  But I remember feeling "who cares?".  I didnt think much of them anyway.  Not very buddhist of me.  See I am rambling.  I of couse deplore all sorts of bullying  and would hate my son to have anyone think badly of him.  But really the world is made of all sorts and sometimes maybe it is better to let things just wash over you.

Yours in rambling thoughts

ps. just wanted to add, not bitter and twisted, just rambling

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

the turn of the season

Fall arrives here early in the Southern Highlands.
More layers on and little visits to the park rather than the pool.
We dropped into a gallery exhibition opening on Saturday keen to meet new people.  This always takes time doesn't it.  Someone said to me you may need to meet 50 people to click with one.

           We have started to think about a little trip up North for some interesting albiet challenging work                                                                                     

                              We shall see.

               But remember to be gentle on oneself