around here

There is the heady scent of the invasive honeysuckle and the fickle spring weather which means sometimes nudie and then the next day wrapped up in our scarfs and cords.

It has taken some time to adjust being back in the Eastern Metropolis.  The days go quickly and there just has not been time to come and post here.  Although I have been around to visit you all most days, but have not been up to the commitment of late.

I do cherish the connections I have made here.  Your spaces really light up my day and forge me into being a functional person and not so introspective.

I do find my work isolating even though I am with people everyday.  There are people I would really like to befriend and make play dates with their children but I have no other way of connecting outside of work and wonder if it is inappropriate to initiate a social connection.

It has just been the timing that has not matched well in making opportunities to be more connected with others.

How do you find it?  Being connected with the local.  There are many more ways I know that I need to seek out.  And more time.

Our family is well. Our Danny boy back lab is still wagging his tail, now eating his dinner and loving his daily walk, despite the cancer diagnosis.  WE WILL BE BASKET CASES WHEN HE IS NO LONGER WITH US.  But until then we love and cuddle him every day.

Chester our Cavoodle had the most dreadful haircut from the Broken Hill RSPCA.  It was almost shameful to take him out.  He looked like a pea head on a sausage.  I think I should learn  how to clip myself.

Marty travels 3 hours one way on the train for his work in the city.  We do love it here but we really have been missing our old friends on the coast.  Hence a bit too much time on realestate.com .

We both have been asked to return to work in BH.

So , yes, we are a bit all over the place.

One week now for a birthday for an almost two year old who can count to four, knows his primary colours and  his very frequent phrase is " go away Mama" and then has a melt down if I do.

I have done no party preparations or even thought about Christmas.  This is my project for the weekend.

Thanks for reading if you have come  this far.

Much love

Jill

xxx

remote living

We leave Broken Hill in 12 days.  Our minds are preoccupied with finishing off work, projects and reflecting on our time away.  The quandary for me is the life that I have dedicated as a professional women and the desire to have a nourishing home life.  I have  a lot of skill and knowledge to offer.  People depend on me.

I have worked remote before and really loved it.  I lived on an Island, in another culture.  I still have waves of thought about doing this again.  Then the pull of being part of a community, having one's own abode and putting down roots tugs at me.

                             Next year the door is open.  Really anything could be on the agenda.

What are your plans for the next year or so?  Maybe too big a question?.

Much love and peace to you
x

Balance

A weekend away on Menindee lake had me thinking about my capacity. What am I really capable of doing?.  How much do I think I should work?  How to balance time alone and time with family. Time to craft and create and blog, and time just to hang out.  Taking life as it comes.

I decided on a softie project.  I was going to call him "Fred".  That was my nickname when I was a littlie.  But at times you make mistakes, take too long doing it, get all cramped up, it really is hard on your neck. Well I have since pulled him apart and started again.  You know what I thought, I really should be out there playing.  Fred is now rising from the ashes again, slowly.

Balancing aspiration with desire.  Being in the moment and planning for the future.  Having home cooked meals, a clean smelling house, a well exercised body and mind, a happy family and a reliable income.

Grateful to be even able to have these choices.  To ponder them.

Old Dan dog has been a sick boy.  A few weeks ago I really thought he would be leaving us.  He has pulled through, for now.  Danny boy was so happy to be swimming again.  I could see him smiling.

Thank goodness we have had family here the last week.  Hanging out together.  Sitting under the big open skies.  Helping to balance my thoughts and mood.  Love you guys.

How do you find balance in your life?  And thank you so much for dropping by.


xxx Jill

things i'm loving

                                     Spring flowers picked by my two boys on their morning walk, while I had a sleep in.

  I bought the Cath Kidston Book  "Sew" and made her bag.  Took the big leap and learnt how to do a button hole on the machine and put in a lining.  Don't look too closely my stitching is a bit wonky and I just could not for the life of me work out how to do the roueaux loop for the front button to fasten with.  So I did the buttonhole stitch loop instead but still with some difficulty.  Maybe I could make a bunting for this up coming swap.

But here is a true artist at work.  How beautiful are these ceramics.  I love their delicate form and the earthy colours.  Made by my sister in law Anne.  Check her out here.

We have been here in Broken Hill for about half our time now.  Just this weekend I have started to feel a bit lonely and so far away from everyone.  Seeing photos of friends and old work mates on facebook  reminds me that I often isolate myself trying to always achieve, achieve.

A lovely workmate and fabulous person has her own blog.http://cate-b.blogspot.com/  Cate is an amazing cook and her blog is filled with warm hearted thoughts and yummy recipes.  Please visit and say hello.

Peace to you

XX J

wild things

Father's Day weekend found us feeling really happy.  We are the A team. I feel very proud that we have made this working sojourn a success so far.  All the planning and scheduling aside.  We have been having fun.

Driving out west on Father's Day we were greeted by Brumbies and Camels.  Dada,  of course cannot help himself.  He has a way with horses.  We had some carrots to share with them.  Although I started to feel a bit twitchy when they surrounded the car.  Somehow Dada thinks camels are cute!  I just seem to remember them from a camel trek in the Rajastan Desert as snotty, foul mouthed farting ass licking creatures that are impossible to ride for 3 days straight without getting huge grazes on your bum.

 
We found a great camping ground. Penrose Park.  I have not seen these type of old swings for ages.

I am feeling good about work because I feel that I am working where I belong, I guess.  Not necessarily Broken Hill, but in an enthusiastic team really commited to improving the health of our countrymen and women and children.  It is a challenge to operate on many levels and have different projects all going on at once.  I am honoured to be here and appreciated.

But there is always some grief when I  leave in the morning.  We all had such a great weekend.  As we were pulling up to my workplace on Monday morning, our little man was very quiet.  He knew I was about to leave.  It really got to me.  No screeching or thrashing around or loud protests of not getting what he wants.  His eyes just welled up in tears and he looked away.   A long kiss on his soft sweet cheek.  I said my goodbye and a cheery "Have a good day with Daddy.  Love you".

I called half an hour later.  They were all running around Sturt Park having fun.

                          I think of you all day, my sweet handsome boy.

Broken Hill

The view from the top of our Street

There has been a prolonged silence in this space, however we have been totally consumed by settling in and making our nest cosy and workable.  Restocking the larder for home cooked meals.  Establishing new routines and places to sleep.  Finding our way around the town.  Starting a new job with so many layers.  A few reasons for the slackness in blogging.  But I have been wondering what you are all up to and flitting around in a very spare moment with no time to comment.

Broken HIll, population of 20, 000 people has a certain laid back vibe.  The township and houses are mostly all still very original. It still feels like a pioneering town.  Old tin miners cottages, with no nasty 1970's reno job done.  But that is for another post.

On route here we met a fabulous couple who are Coppas.  They used to live in Cobar.  They commented that Broken Hill is a good place to start working out west as it has a BIG W.  The woman related that when in Cobar every few months a group of her girlfriends would attach the trailer to the Prado and drive 3 hours to Dubbo and load up with Big W purchases.  Growing up in Sydney she was a DJ's girl.    But Big W here certainly is the centre of the outback, shopping wise.

I would have to say the town is very friendly, and feels very safe.  I love the big wide open streets.  The characters coming in from the outstations.  And the customer service in the shops is really heart warming.

Work has been great.  Very busy but it makes me feel worthwhile. Adjusting to working full-time though has been hard and at times I have felt so fatigued.  Marty and Che have been troopers.  Now I think we are full swing.  Would have to say though really yearning for a later wake up call then 4am.  One day....

I am going to sign off with some pictures of Silverton.  25 Km west of Broken Hill.  There has been a lot of rain here so it is very green  now around these parts.

Very much hoping to touch base with dear friends soon.  I have missed you.

Xxx
Jill

grateful for

1. When your teething toddler eventually falls asleep when you need to drive 460km in one day.

2. Arriving safely at the house in Broken Hill where we will be staying for 3 months.  Awaiting us was fresh clean white sheets, the kitchen stocked with fresh milk, bread, breakfast cereals, good coffee and tea.    There is something to be said of modern homes.  Clean lines, loads of storage,  light and space.  I am usually drawn to old cottages but being here gets one thinking.

3. Starting a new job on Monday.  Feeling very nervous.  What if no one likes me and I let them down.  They have been saying how excitied they are that I have arrived.  Do you ever feel like a fraud?  Or is that a woman thing?  Anyway I am very lucky to be given such an opportunity and to be so looked after.

It has been a little while since an official grateful post.  Great to be linking in with Maxabella again today.

a whirlwind

It might be hard to see from this picture but it snowed at our house today.  The ground was all sodden and it all melted as it fell, but it was very pretty.  The sky is very grey and it is very very cold.  I have been trying to get paperwork organised, my tax done and sorting out certification whilst guarding against the whole house being pulled apart.

Then some sad news regarding a lovely woman from the practice who passed away last night.  I am about to speak with her loving family.  One beautiful life ends and another begins. Such sorrow and such joy.

I have been trying to complete some crafty projects to send as gifts.  The crotchet keeps being pulled apart by little fingers and I keep changing my pattern.  I think I will take a few balls of yarn and a few hooks with me, as they won't take up too much room.

My first ever sewing project has been these little feline softies.  Last Christmas the sewing machine was purchased in a garage sale and I have only now threaded it , made up bobbins and decided on a beginners project.  Now the machine is all ready for me to return in three and half months.

As you can see I am a bit all over the place with my packing.  We have to fit all of us into the X-Trail, Doggies included.  We decided on just taking stuff that we could fit onto the roof rack, rather than invest in a trailer and send  a few boxes down on the Greyhound coach to meet us there.  Our house is fully set up.  Pretty good really.  Even a cot.

I need to gather my tools of trade and important  documentation.  My current boss came into work on Saturday to say goodbye and taught me a few tricks.  I don't think I have mentioned I work with the alias of Dr Fruit Loop.  I do need to find my funny bone.  I am not naturally funny and often too serious.  I need to practice some of these tricks and work a little bit of magic.

A care package arrived this week from a very dear friend.  It has made our next move feel very special.

                     A little sample of our treats.

Listography

I have been really liking Kate Takes 5 weekly listography and enthused by A Farmer's wife post would  like to play along.  I really had to think hard about this weeks theme - five decisions that you are glad you made. Now in my mid forties, I feel I have re - invented myself many times.  There has been many chapters of my life.  I often have not made the best decisions.  I certainly could have been more successful in my chosen career, more steadfast and less emotional and less reactive.  But here I go:

1. Learning Yoga and Meditation from a young age.

    Time and time again re-invigorating my practice has steadied my soul and given me strength.  It  keeps me supple and calm.


2. Going to University.

 In fact I ended up  doing 2 Bachelor degress back to back.  That meant nine years of being a poor student, supporting myself through, wearing daggy trackie dacks and waitressing most nights.  But I lived in the most crazy fun student shared households.  I dabbled in the extra-ordinary and it really broadened my mind and horizons and gave me a perspective on this world that has led me to keep exploring and keep on learning.

3. Taking a trip to Darwin

On a whim I rang Darwin Hospital to see if there were any job opportunities.  I got a job in that phone call and in the next few weeks left my position in an inner city hospital and left for the wild frontier that is the Northern Territory.  I was only planning to stay for a year but then ended up staying five.  I do feel I gained some understanding of  Aboriginal culture and their connection to their land.  There are lots of endemic problems but it was an experience to me that opens up new possibilities for the future.  In Darwin I met the most free thinking people.  It was  a less materialistic way of living.  Very different to the East Coast.  Camping in Kakadu, living on the Tiwi islands, fishing, mud crabbing, sailing it was fantastic.  Oh yes and I met my man there.

4. Selling my house.

This was a hard one, but yes I do want to have it here.  You see about 6 months ago I became very regretful about this.  But now I have moved on and happy that this has been the best decision.  The story is I became pregnant very unexpectantly at age 43.  I am the main bread winner ( my partner is an Artist - say no more), we had purchased  a house a bit beyond our means and really it was a knockdown anyway but we took on this project as our baby of renovating it from inside out.  I really wanted to stay home with my one and only child.  We finished the renovations after our son was born, sold it and moved on.  A lot of people were unsure of our choices and some were a bit disappointed.  Now we are renters in a very cosy little cottage and I work only very part time and am now dabbling in art, gardening, cooking, walking and just lying in the sun.  I am very lucky that I can still have a career to return to.  One day another "home" will present itself, i'm sure.

5.  Making a conscious decision every day to find happiness and fun in each day.  Some days I do wake up as cranky pants.  But I realise how much I have an effect on how the day will pan out.  I take few deep breaths, get over myself and smile.  My little boy smiles back.

Thank you for giving me time to think about theses things.

ramblings

Today the light was calming.  The weather was really mild.  I walked around in a thin cotton top.  This morning was dedicated to paperwork.  I have to say that the digital computerised world has only increased my load of paper work.  Bad habits have slowly crept in and the various piles were mounting.  One organisational tactic that I know does works well for me is to pay bills/attend to matters as soon as Mr Postman delivers them.  Take things out of the inbox into the already sent as soon as possible.   Keep that flow of paper going round and round.  I know.  Otherwise you end up in the fiery HELL of a place to be.

"Looking after your own patch".  A most dear friend wrote to me.  Events this week that involved my family has been in my thoughts.  My family over the generations is large.  My maternal grandfather was one of 14 children.  My mother is one of 9.  But there has been disputes and years of one not taking to another.  It becomes so complicated.  Though a tragedy.  One spoke to another after 25 years of looking the other way.

           A blood red sky tonight. What does that mean again?