28 days of gratitude - day 7 - my friend Cynthia

Today feeling quite exhausted and teary.  Last night I received news of the passing of my very dear friend Cynthia. Wife to Len, mother to kiddos Conrad and Sofia.  Cynthia fought her battle against bladder cancer at such a young age.

Cynthia and I were intern junior doctors together.  We shared a house and many aspirations of love, travel, children, art, meditation and spirituality.

Cynthia had one of those serene faces.  Like she was living in the future looking back.  A face which was wise and calm.  She faced this dreadful illness with little outward show of fear and as always her approach was positive and steadfast.

I remember Cyn doing step ups onto my dining chairs every morning.  I feel she really lived by what I saw as a true buddhist way.  Right thought, right action.

I listened as she told of her yearning for a man that lived overseas.  They were able to make a life here together and bring into this world two stunningly beautiful children.  Cynthia was a very dedicated mother.  Cynthia  built this strong sense of family first and I am sure there are many happy treasured memories.

I grieve for the loss of her.  Her husband and children.  I am feeling very sad that I did not get a chance to say a proper goodbye.  It all happended so fast.

But I am comforted by feeling her presence that is omnipresent and the dulcit tones of her voice is a chorus in my head.  So many memories of her kindness and strong spirit.

Cyn fully embraced my spontaneous pregnancy  at my older age.  Cyn showered me with pre loved baby stuff that we still use everyday.  She was supportive and encouraged me giving up work, selling my house, so I could be with my baby at this very special time.  And with my ever wakeful baby, her focus in relating to me was her detailed advice on sleep, breast feeding and routines.   Not her illness.  Maybe this was a distraction for her.

My heart is aching for the loss of my good friend.  Another dear friend said to me today,  perhaps people who have lived so well and had such a full life,  maybe they have a shorter life.  Their souls are complete and their work is done.


Vale Cynthia

xxxJ

28 days of gratitude - day 6 - baby minding by Babcia and parenting tips

        Thank you so much Babcia for looking after me today.  I had so much fun.  Sooooooo happy to be close by and have your energy and cute ways.  Mummy and Daddy got so much done at home.  Arrived back after lunch all tired out.  Happy to go down for midday sleep.


Found excellent site here re tips for parents.  Although not Ozzie, still pretty helpful.

28 days of gratitude - day 5 - the local pool and old mates that drop by

 Another day of overwhelming heat. To have your own pool to cool yourself  to the core would just raise that threshold from the feeling of loosing it.  Photo above from dear friends pool over xmas/newyear.  You guys are so LUCKY.

But thank goodness for the local pool  Bowral pool has large grassy areas with lots of shade.  Now I can sit as a Mum in the baby pool.  Always dreamed of doing that.

Strong memories of  Lawson Pool.  As a primary schooler, I would walk with my sisters and brother to the pool ourselves, about 2km walk.  We would spend all day there.  Keeping an eye out for each other.  Then we would walk home all sun kissed to be served fresh salad (basically iceberg lettuce, tinned beetroot, sliced cucumber and tomato) and devon for tea.  Then water melon and vanilla ice cream for dessert.

Then if Sunday night watch Countdown and then play records , read and then off to bed.

My old boss dropped in to say Hi, this afternoon.  So glad we are still friends.

Lovely to join Maxabella in her weekly thoughtful posts on being grateful

28 days of gratitude - day 4 - thunder and lightening

Everyone I met today during consultations or walking down the street were expressing the weariness of our current temperatures.  The relentless heat has been sapping our energy and making a few people feel on edge.

After my morning sesssion I arrived home to have lunch with my family.  Marty makes the best toasted sandwiches in Australia.  Our little man had been too excited to go down for his midday sleep earlier so after a cool down with the hose outside and then off to the cool dark room for that cherished breast feed and wind down.

As we cuddled in the usual position of me half falling asleep propped against large pillows, the sky rumbled and roared.  I could see the flash of lightening through the blind.  The storm was very close.  The air felt charged and we were all safe and he was all like a little baby again, snuggled in, with his nakedness , suckle, suckle.

He then opened his eyes and started playing with my hair and poking his fingers in my mouth and said Mamma.  He then closed his eyes and was asleep.

Bliss.

28 days of gratitude - day 3 - team effort

Today I am so grateful for Marty's perseverence and my friend Maren's constant helping hand.  We have been putting up this silly fiddly shed from that well known hardware mutlinational for what seems like days now.   We needed something temporary but still sturdy.  It certainly would not survive a category 1 cyclone.  Here I was the negative one.  Prancing around saying "its not going to work".  "We should organise to dismantle what we have done and take it back".  "Maybe we should not have even put up a shed?".  Man can I be a pain in the butt.

We have needed to buy extra screws and braces to make it stay firm.  We are only renting so could not put down concrete slab.  Grrrrrr.  Nothing is ever easy is it?

Remarkably through the above ignoring my whining, they just got on with the job.  In this continued heat wave.  I decided to come inside with my tail between my legs and make every one a great supper.  Saganaki and mixed green salad with asparagus and snake beans and baby spinach.  Also baked pumpkin and quinoa salad. For a treat gin and tonic with lots of lime.  Bubba loved the salads.

This morning he slept till 8.30 am,  Bit out of the blue.

Thank you for putting up with me.

28 days of gratitude - day 2 - my life

I have made a lot of mistakes but am ever so grateful that I am here now.  Taking things day by day.   I think I am a bit of a late bloomer, in many ways.  Its funny I feel a sense of equanimity now.  There is always two sides to the story.

I worked this morning and then had a surprise lunch date at Craigeburn, Peppers Resort for my birthday.  Our good friend Maren looked after bub for a few hours.  We have not had a date like this since a few days before his birth.

Maybe I am only half way through?  The possibilities are enormous.

A late storm came through and washed away the intensity of ourselves.  A vast storm is brewing and threatening our northern friends.  I am  grateful to be safe.  Baby now softly sleeping. 

Just sneaked in this post before midnight.


nb. dress from op shop $6.  purchased when heavily pregnant.  can now only just do up the zipper.

28 days of gratitude - day 1- lazy wistful days of summer

This being my birthday month I would like to take each day to think deeply about all the little things in life that make me happy and grateful for who and where I am.

Today was sweltering.  We were putting up a shed to store our tools and gardening equipment.  It all got a bit too much.  You definitely had to read the instructions.  Amazing how the simple hose gave such immediate and cheery relief.

Over the last week our little man has been taking a few more confident steps.  Then looking really chuffed and then plonk onto bottam.  Today he was really walking so much more than crawling.

Our days over this Summer have been very simple.  We have both been home a lot together as a family.  This decision for myself not to return to fulltime work has made us sell our house, move, rent, and search for new a community.  Each day passes with only very ordinary things happening.  Cooking, cleaning, shopping, chatting, potting plants, breast feeding, talking to friends on the phone, walking the dogs.  I will cherish this time.