Thursday, November 25, 2010

good enough

I have had a few meltdowns this week.  With so much grief in the news from around the world and with bad news with friends and friends family, I think this has contributed. Along with the ever present anxiety about my sons lack of ability to sleep more than 2 hours and not really wanting to eat.  Apart from the usual wingeing, he is happy I think in his own little way.  Oh yeh and have a major hard exam in 2 weeks.  I just don't seem to retain much.

Its me that intellectualizes about this trajectory and my with own expectations my despair rises.   I have this bad habit of walking around my inner sanctum, constantly scanning, looking for what is wrong, how I could improve, creating a "must do" or "should" list in my head.

Being able to accept things as they are. Give myself and my family the credit that is due.  Love my son for who he is.  That what is here,  and now is good enough.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hard babies = easy toddlers. That is my mantra after having 3 babies that refuse to sleep or eat (geez! the 2 things i love best!). I have 3 words to say to you! zoloft. 50. milligrams! Made me cool as a cucumber. Masked the feelings of sleep depravation and took away my analysis paralysis. Lush. OK Well maybe its not for everyone, but it Rocked for me. But, seriously, my girls sound so like your boy, re food and sleep, and they have been the easiest toddlers, so maybe its all swings and roundabouts.
love Anne-Marie.PS: good luck with exam