Friday, October 22, 2010

dirt musik

Funny when stones and dirt are much more enticing than lovingly made prepared food by Mummy.    We have noticed a little wry smile and awareness of what reaction he can get from his parents.  The old dropsie game and  warnings of danger.   Bit my tongue when heard Che say "No" on the front porch a few days ago.  He is becoming so much more aware of my tone and my reactive ways.

I have been preoccupied with trying to complete my studies for Diploma of Child Health.  Reading about parenting issues and behavioural problems in infants and toddlers and the trajectory for later life resilience. 

In those moments of feeling overwhelmed with demanding toddler cries, I remind myself of parents who have children with special needs.  We are also keen to announce our children's progress and milestones.  It must be so hard if your child  has a disability or does not fit into the norm.  I remind myself of elderly women I have come to know through my work who still look after  their child whilst they are in their 80's and their son or daughter are 40-50 years of age and have Downs or other disability that precludes them form having a normal life.  Imagine that.  The supports that are available now where so scarce in that generation.  They  must feel very alone.

I was very fortunate.  Having a child born when I was almost 44 of course put me in such a high risk bracket for a child with a chromosomal abnormality, like Down's syndrome.  However I even contemplated not having the 12 week nuchal screening.  We were seriously considering not following through with invasive testing if this scan was worrying, and just accept and love what nature had provided us.  The dubious results that can arise from the nuchal screening do make one risk a miscarriage of a normal baby as well.  The chances of falling pregnant again were very remote.

The way the pregnancy took over my body  I knew that this baby was fine and was strong and everything would be ok.  (I had severe nausea of pregnancy that lasted to about 17 weeks and thereafter still had days that made me lie flat on my back).  I was not really anxious or felt extra precious.  The scans were all reassuring.

I have caught myself thinking, I need some time to be just alone.  But everyday there is something new.  And that is FANTASTICO.

With the early morning warble of the Magpie I say to Che "see he is telling you that everything will be ok.  Today will be memorable and we love you".

Hope you have a lovely weekend.


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